Technically I guess I came home yesterday on Jet Blue. But this past week in Los Angeles has been a homecoming of its own. Revisiting a city that you no longer live in kind of feels like an out of body experience, like being a spirit wafting through a world you’re no longer a part of. The first thing I did after picking up my rental car was drive by our old house. The new owners have painted, and generally spruced it up. They took out the two massive elms that defined and shaded the front yard, but they left my roses and my picket fence alone.
Ironically it wasn’t sitting in front of my old house that stirred my emotions, it was the time I spent on the familiar roads and freeways of Los Angeles and 'the valley', shuttling between family and friends. I found myself associating memories with each and every block I passed, and I spent the week re-tracing the skeleton of 25 years of family life played out on the grid of city streets, the curves of hilly canyon roads, the blocks, parks, buildings and mini-malls of what had been home.
What started as a little game turned into an obsession. There was a person, place, event or emotion embedded in every street corner, every exit on the freeway, from momentous occasions all the way down to the minutia of everyday life. The memories came fast and furious and in jumbled order---a pre-school graduation, a daughter's early boyfriend, the place we got our first dog groomed. The orthodontist, the good friends that moved away, one of the many bar mitzvah drop offs where I watched a thirteen-year-old through the rear view mirror wobbling in her first high heels. The drive to the high school bus stop, an ill-fated taekwando class, an anniversary dinner, a flat tire.
After a few days of this the sheer number of memories became overwhelming, especially when traffic slowed me down and I had time to dwell on them. It was somewhere along the 101 West that it all caught up with me and my little game dissolved into tears.
The next time I take a trip down memory lane, I'm going to have to stick to the passenger seat.
Love it! I too grew up in L.A.-ish. I can totally relate! (:
ReplyDeleteHello Sue:
ReplyDeleteWe think that it is immensely brave of you to have gone back to look at your old house. Once we left our home in the Herefordshire countryside, we knew that we should never be able to return.
So many memories must have drained the emotions and yet how lovely to have been reunited with family and friends.
it is amazing how emotional "going home can be" xx
ReplyDeleteThat sounds completely overwhelming!
ReplyDeleteI hope you are happy to be back and not missing LA too much.
A couple of summers ago we drove by the first house I owned which was in New Brunswick. We were vacationing on the east coast so decided to stop in the little town where my older daughter was born, and to show her the house we lived in for the first 2 years of her life... it looked nothing like it did in my memory, and it wasn't at all the way I had described it to my daughter... what a strange experience it was.
That sounds truly overwhelming, Sue. Memory Lane can be so bittersweet. Enjoy being back "home" now and take it easy this week.
ReplyDeleteWhen we went back to my husband's childhood hometown last November, we didn't even go by the house he lived in from second to twelfth grade. He had tried it 18 years before and only lasted 10 seconds in the driveway....and I'm not exaggerating.
ReplyDeleteAs it turned out, Sue, both my parents were buried in our old home town, so I have been back twice for each of their funerals. The town looked smaller and our house on the river looked tiny. Everything has changed, there are no restaurants any more and no motels or hotels. It always was a little town, but now it's barely there. Totally depressing.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how I'll feel when I eventually leave Chicago. I bet I'll be as nostalgic as you.
ReplyDeleteI never left my home city, not even for a semester during university. I can only imagine the overwhelming emotions.
ReplyDeleteHope you've "arrived" by now!
Welcome back to the NEXT curve in the road of life! New memories are waiting :-)
ReplyDeleteHow blessed to have the opportunity to revisit the former footprints that life left in your heart!
Enjoy today!
Sounds like you had a lot of good years in LA! I love it there and though I only lived there for four years, I too have a fair amount of nostalgia attached to that place. There's just something about it.
ReplyDeleteI know what you are talking about, Sue! Hope you are ok.
ReplyDeleteOh, wow. We sure travelled parallel paths recently. I just spent a weekend in Louisiana. It was planned as a "getaway" weekend but turned out to be similar to your journey down memory lane. I can relate to the many swirling emotions. Hope your return back to the east coast was a good one. Take care.
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